On the eve of our first flight, Will went to bed congested, and I woke up with a knot in my stomach. When the alarm went off, I sat up and asked him how he was feeling. He said, “In love,” and I poked him in the ribs. He smiled and asked if I was sure I still wanted to do this. I couldn’t believe he was asking me that when I felt like I wanted to throw up. “Of course,” I said, “Let’s go.”
Over the past year, our departure date has grown to mythical proportions. We’ve repeated the phrase, “On August 4th we fly to Peru” hundreds of times. But as we actually set off for the unknown – knowing we wouldn’t return for 10 months – it was scary.
I started out a nervous ball of energy, feeling homesick, anxious, and a little weepy. Flying south with the east coast of the U.S. in the window, I tried to sleep off the urge to cry. When we landed at the Panama City Airport for our layover, my nerves downgraded to mild. The Hub of the Americas reassured me with its early 1990’s décor and ridiculously high end shopping. Just like when I first moved to Louisiana – I realized that in many new places things are different, but not that different.
Once we landed in Lima, most of my nerves were gone. The airport was bright and friendly. Immigration and customs were a breeze. We got our new SIM cards and hopped into the hostel car service. We’re staying at The Healing Dog hostel, which is complete with its own Peruvian Hairless Dog, Pisco. We decided to start out in a 6-person dorm to see if we could handle the cheaper option. Verdict: it’s okay, with earplugs. We have private rooms for the next two cities.
Day one was filled with travel gaffes. First, we spent way too many soles on coffee. Then we went on an odyssey around a high end mall to get our Machu Picchu tickets reprinted (I lost the reservation number.) Then we got ripped off by a cab driver. But the day was also filled with good food, new scenery, and general settling in.
Day two left us more empowered. We took off from the hostel early to meet with Ensena Peru (a Teach for America cousin) and visit with teachers and students. We will post about this experience soon – in short, it was wonderful and energizing. The visit reaffirmed that visiting schools around the world is the right thing for us to focus on. My ball of nerves is nowhere to be found.
There are some great blog posts out there about dealing with travel fears, filled with excellent advice. The trouble is that none of that perspective actually eliminates the anxiety, it mostly assures you it will pass. But this is okay, because I don’t want to eliminate the fear, I want to overcome it. When you are scared, or homesick, or worried and that feeling passes it is transformed into freedom, empowerment, and a smaller, more familiar world. This has now happened once, and I look forward to it happening many more times in the coming months. Thank you, Peru, for being my first anxiety transformed.